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Excerpts from The Believer: 16

Summary by McSweeney's Internet Tendency
I was a goner, they said. Oh well. Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been born before they dug up all the words. & we’d just stand around trying not to explode. I wanted, above all, & with no regard for human life, to play my Atari & be alone without ugliness. I admit I liked people best when they’re far away inside me. Like on the phone in the 90s. Could’ve been worse. Could’ve forgotten to invent scented markers on purpose. The truth is, as presid…
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McSweeney's Internet Tendency broke the news in on Friday, April 25, 2025.
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