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Top The Free Peach News

Berkeley, California · Berkeley

Karl Marx Denounces Socialism After Visiting Berkeley Co-ops - The Free Peach

BERKELEY, Calif.– Karl Marx’s recent visit to a UC Berkeley co-op has resulted in the founder of the communist ideology’s decision to redact previous statements he had made in support of socialism. “The petrified shitstains present in the first toilet bowl I encountered were enough to make me rethink a couple hundred years of socialism,”See the Story

Berkeley, California · Berkeley

Python Commits Ritual Suicide After Attempting to Run 61A Midterm Code - The Free Peach

A DIMLY LIT SODA HALL 320 – Tears and cries surrounded the halls of Berkeley early Wednesday morning. CS students and professors alike mourned the loss of Python, the beloved/hated/mildly infuriated code operating system, which decided to kill itself instead of running the code from this year’s CS61A midterm. “When I put the first question in, a simple problem which re-defined a global variable in a different frame 3 separate times before callin…See the Story

Valentine's Day · Berkeley

Professor Spends Another Valentine’s Day Alone in Office Hours - The Free Peach

BERKELEY, Calif.— As his clock struck 5:30 PM without a single student entering, Professor Milton Keyton concluded yet another completely empty office hours, only to be succeeded by a completely alone Valentine’s Day evening. Professor Keyton is just one of many professors on campus that genuinely believe that maybe one of their students will actuallySee the Story

News from The Free Peach